Wow, I haven't blogged for ages... but since it's New Years Eve, what else could I be doing apart from my annual NYE post on how the past year has gone by.... Well, to be honest, I don't really feel like blogging atm... approx 1 hour ago, i learnt of another death of an elderly in our church, and so i'm really not in the mood... but life must go on, and like my dad says, we can't let the world stop spinning just cus we feel miserable. so i will blog on.
I have just had an awesome afternoon/evening with my beloved and now that he's dozing happily into dreamland for his 2am wake to work, I have nothing better to do than to tell all these random ppls who still bother to read this dead blog, how my life, in the past year has been....
Wellllll... for starters, I don't really remember much about this year at this point. But I will try my memory. but if you know me, u would also know that i have a goldfish memory, and it's gonna take a while for me to remember.......... well...... ooo i also have to mention that i had an awesome trip a couple of days ago with Cheryl and Kat.. we went to Coromandel, Whitianga, Waihi, Whangamata, and random lil towns in between, and it was fun.
Ok, well this year has been pretty up and down. Being the first year of Uni, there's been some pretty big changes in my life, and I reckon it's all happened for the best... gave me a whole new perspective in life, and in people, and especially in myself. I've definitely grown up a lot too. In uni.... it's really not what I had expected. It was somewhat more or less like how I thought that the classes would be, but little did I know how much my social life would change... I must say that I regret not having kept very closely in touch with a lot of my friends from college... but I am happy to have made lots of new friends. I guess I've also learnt more about myself in that, I'm not a person who would be happy knowing a million ppls and be just "friends" or aquaintances... I'm the kinda person who likes to keep jsut a little group of really really close friends... I guess that means a lot more to me, considering my lack of time management. ^^"
I've also learnt that the greatest friends, are not people who are perfect, knows exactly what to say when I'm down, how to have a great time, or can give me great advice and care for me... But the greatest friends are the ones who know that I'm not a perfect person, that I've got a million faults that will take me a lifetime and still not be able to fix up, and still love me for who I am, and accept me, and just accompany me along the way. And I'm really happy I've found those friends in my life. Now I've definitely got to work on never letting go and to take nothing for granted.
I guess I've been through quite a lot this year... and it's been these friends who have helped me along the way, and kept me going when I've wanted to give up... who helped me with my studying, found stuff for me to do, and ppls to go do it with outside of uni time... and also just being there... just being there. :-)
This year my spiritual life has been pretty... well... I dunno what's the word for it. One minute it's way up in the sky, and another it's the lowest into the core of the earth, that it just can't get any lower... It's been pretty rough, and I can honestly say that for the last few months, it's been the lowest it can ever be. It's like, non-existant. Dead. And I've been trying, and working at it, and I'm slowly picking myself back up... I know it's effortful, but I will work on it... and I know that God will help me... Sometimes it feels so cruel even, then during my darkest times, i can't seem to find God anywhere, and it feels like he's giving me a test... when it's the time that I really need comfort... And often I end up running to Teddie or to my friends, instead of back to him. But I am constantly reminded of Psalms 118:8 "It is better to take refuge in the LORD than to trust in man." (NIV)... so I guess I'm learning my lesson really really slowly...
Just a few notes to a few of you's.... ^^
To my bestest best friends: Cheryl, Paul, Katherine; and dry bro William - thanks u guys for being such great support this year... for being the coolest ppls ever. It's with you guys that I can truely be myself... with you guys, I can let my pride down, and tell about all my inequities and not have to feel ashamed... And I can also know and trust, that God will help us all to develop even greater friendships... Because with Him being our bonds, nothing can break us apart.. and I feel so priviledged that we can share our walks with Jesus Christ together, and grow together, even at different paces. ^^
To my girlfriends: Nancy, Marcy, Sarah and Jenna - u guys are just awesome. I know we may not have kept in touch much this year, but during the times we do find each other on campus, or online, it's always been great to catch up on u guy's lives... and it's just so great to know that there's nothing better than catching up with old friends. I want to thank you guys for all these years of friendship... and that now that we've all got different things to do, that we can still chat for hours when we can. It's just so great to know taht I have friends like u guys. :-)
To my pals: Vicki, Mandy, Claudia, Betty, Jo, oh and Tommy - thanks u guys for being so great, so real. u guys have been absolutely awesome friends to be around... makes life so much more fun to have ppls like u guys to hangout with, do random silly things with, or just to talk to... to tease each other and just to enjoy being teenagers... (or at least for Tommy, close enough to being a teenager :P) ... u guys r the best! :-)
And to my Andrew Fellowship mates:- Thanks u guys for another great year together, and seeing how we've all grown up so much, and being better friends and all... it's really been really really sweet. Thanks u guys for ur support this year towards me and never losing hope in me, it's really appreciated! And even tho I know that next year a lot of us will be spliting up and there'll be lots of changes, but i trust that we will all still remain the great pals that we've become! ^^
Oh adn to all you other guys... I dunno,... I know there's a lot of names I haven't mentioned... but like I sed before, I'm really in not that great a mood... but I want u guys all to know that if somehow our lives have crossed at some point, that it's all meant something to me, and changed the person I am slightly... no matter how small the matter may have seemed. I'm sorry If I ever wronged u in any way this year... please forgive me... I'm only human, and I'm still learning... Please let me know what I have done wrong, and how I can amend it... I will try everything (almost), in my ability to fix things up...
Oh and how can I forget: Logan, Stefan, Joel and Kathryn - random uni hang-around buddies. lol. thanks u guys for just being around, and being such cool ppls to hang out with during the stressful times there. it's been pretty awesome i must say, and I do really enjoy your company! :-)
My one and only Teddie - Thank you so much for... well.. I wouldn't even know where to start. If I were to thank you for all the things that you have done this year, I think I would need another year to say it all.. but I definitely don't have the time, neither do you, nor does this blog have the space... But everything you've done, it's all stored in my heart, and lovingly cherished... I wouldn't be here if it wasn't for you. Thank you so much..... I love you.
And last but not least: My daddy-up-there - I'm sorry..... and Thank you..... no words can explain how much u've done for me... and how much of it i've taken for granted... I know Your will I will probably never comprehend, as my brain is just too small... but I just want to thank You for never giving up on me, and loving me so so so so much all the way... I need Your help this coming year... please stay by my side and never leave me... I need you in my life, and I really really love you..... I really do....
So... this year? :-)
P.S. I can tie a knot in a cherry stem with my tongue! And I actually don't hate sour cream that much. ^^
